Warning: Long Post is Very Long (I wrote this after it happened last Saturday, so forgive the present tense)
File this under: Things that aren’t okay.
So today at work, I’m chillin, looking fly, being a beast etc. You know typical Jess. A very nice customer and I start talking about football. I’ve got some money down on the Broncos and we were bonding over our shared love of Payton Manning. Then he asks me if I like coffee.
"I love coffee" I say.
"Well me and my wife just started a coffee business here in the bay, let me get you some samples" he replies. Then hands me these. This is a pamphlet and two samples of Javita, a weight loss supplement that "turns fat in to energy!" I frown, hard.
"I don’t diet" I say, frown very much apparent on my face.
"Well that’s good, you don’t need to!"
"I don’t do weight loss" I say as I set the things down. I’m staring him in the face now. He doesn’t look at me.
"Good you don’t have to, just drink it" his voice is cheery. I’m not budging.
"I love my body, I don’t need this. But somebody else who buys in to this stuff might." He’s not embarrassed, in fact he doesn’t even hear what I’m saying. He pays for his smog and tells me to have a wonderful weekend.
I keep staring at these and trying to figure out why exactly it pisses me off so much and I think I figured it out.
There was, I’d say 5 or 6 people in the office, none of them female. He was talking to all of them, being cheery and friendly and not once did he offer his fat loss coffee samples to any of them. There was at least two fat guys; he didn’t offer these guys anything. He offered me, me the fat girl behind the counter. He was insistent, when I said I didn’t diet and he replied “You don’t need to” he wasn’t saying I didn’t have to because I’m fine just the way I am, he’s saying that the miracle coffee makes it so I don’t have to. When I said I don’t do weight loss, he says “Good you don’t have to, just drink it”.
Just drink it.
His voice was cheery, but it was masking something terrible.
I’ve had a headache and all the confidence I felt all day has been completely fucking shattered by one mans insistence that my body wasn’t worth the space it takes up. One man who lured me in with casual conversation. And what could I say? He was a customer, he was a man whom in the next minute I was going to ask him to give me 85 dollars, a man who is part of the people who keep this business going and me in a job.
This isn’t the first time this has happened, in fact since I started this job, more than 10 people have offered me business cards for various weight loss plans and supplements and “miracle pills”. It’s all been very tiring and it makes me think, what if I’m wrong? What if all this body positivity stuff has gone to my head. When the world is telling you that you’re broken shouldn’t you listen?
And then I force myself to remember that I am who I am, my body is my body, my choices are my choices. And no matter how many nice guys in masks tell me that I’m wrong and break me down, I will get back up again, I will prove them wrong.
Because I am beautiful.
So shove it up your ass Javita man, I’m amazing.

Warning: Long Post is Very Long (I wrote this after it happened last Saturday, so forgive the present tense)

File this under: Things that aren’t okay.

So today at work, I’m chillin, looking fly, being a beast etc. You know typical Jess. A very nice customer and I start talking about football. I’ve got some money down on the Broncos and we were bonding over our shared love of Payton Manning. Then he asks me if I like coffee.

"I love coffee" I say.

"Well me and my wife just started a coffee business here in the bay, let me get you some samples" he replies. Then hands me these. This is a pamphlet and two samples of Javita, a weight loss supplement that "turns fat in to energy!" I frown, hard.

"I don’t diet" I say, frown very much apparent on my face.

"Well that’s good, you don’t need to!"

"I don’t do weight loss" I say as I set the things down. I’m staring him in the face now. He doesn’t look at me.

"Good you don’t have to, just drink it" his voice is cheery. I’m not budging.

"I love my body, I don’t need this. But somebody else who buys in to this stuff might." He’s not embarrassed, in fact he doesn’t even hear what I’m saying. He pays for his smog and tells me to have a wonderful weekend.

I keep staring at these and trying to figure out why exactly it pisses me off so much and I think I figured it out.

There was, I’d say 5 or 6 people in the office, none of them female. He was talking to all of them, being cheery and friendly and not once did he offer his fat loss coffee samples to any of them. There was at least two fat guys; he didn’t offer these guys anything. He offered me, me the fat girl behind the counter. He was insistent, when I said I didn’t diet and he replied “You don’t need to” he wasn’t saying I didn’t have to because I’m fine just the way I am, he’s saying that the miracle coffee makes it so I don’t have to. When I said I don’t do weight loss, he says “Good you don’t have to, just drink it”.

Just drink it.

His voice was cheery, but it was masking something terrible.

I’ve had a headache and all the confidence I felt all day has been completely fucking shattered by one mans insistence that my body wasn’t worth the space it takes up. One man who lured me in with casual conversation. And what could I say? He was a customer, he was a man whom in the next minute I was going to ask him to give me 85 dollars, a man who is part of the people who keep this business going and me in a job.

This isn’t the first time this has happened, in fact since I started this job, more than 10 people have offered me business cards for various weight loss plans and supplements and “miracle pills”. It’s all been very tiring and it makes me think, what if I’m wrong? What if all this body positivity stuff has gone to my head. When the world is telling you that you’re broken shouldn’t you listen?

And then I force myself to remember that I am who I am, my body is my body, my choices are my choices. And no matter how many nice guys in masks tell me that I’m wrong and break me down, I will get back up again, I will prove them wrong.

Because I am beautiful.

So shove it up your ass Javita man, I’m amazing.

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    I would have ripped it up.
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